I do not have words to express the tremendous grief that I feel right now. Though I have been down this road before, that does not make losing this little one any easier. I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant, but also afraid. Afraid to be happy, afraid to anticipate a future for our child because of the loss we had experienced in the past. Now my fears have become my reality. I am tired and do not have words to express myself adequately. I have spent my energy on prayers and tears. Now I just feel empty. I know that God is sovereign, and that he has allowed this tragedy, but I struggle because I do not understand. Loss of a child is so painful, no matter what the stage of life. I am still amazed at how quickly I became attached, in spite of my reservations. Maybe one day I will have a chance to be a mother. I can hope and I can pray. The rest is in the hands of God.
I shall be taking a break from blogging for a while. I just need some time.